Scenes From the Suburban Ghetto, Act 2

Three little girls are playing in the fenced in postage stamp yard of the White Trash Contingent. The game (for the next two minutes, anyway) apparently involves jumping from the top of some sort of two foot tall plastic slide structure to the seat of one of those flimsy plastic patio chairs, set approximately eight inches away.

“No, you go first, then I’ll go second, then she’ll go third…”
“OK, just GO!”
“But, wait, what if I go first…”
“I wanna be the mama!” (Poor child obviously thought they were still playing house)
“JUST. GO.”
“Don’t push!”
“GO!”
“ALRIGHT, THAT’S IT.” Now the child starts brandishing the plastic chair as some sort of weapon. “Who wants a beatdown? Because the next person that pushes my butt is getting one!”