Sunday Brunch: Philly Cheesesteak Scramble

I’m just going to tell you this up front: I’m weird about eggs. I like eggs, I really do, but I will only eat them certain ways, which is to say scrambled and/or in an omlette. Not hard boiled, not poached, not over easy, not fried. Egg McMuffins? Hell to the naw. There’s something about the texture, especially with eggs over easy, or dippy eggs, as my Pennsylvania Dutch brethren so aptly call them, that just turns me off. When I have eggs out, I specifically ask for them dry or well done, like my gram says, “I don’t like ’em nervous.” At home it’s the same way.

Scrambled eggs week after week get a little boring, so I do try to mix things up a bit, especially since I’m not exactly skilled enough to make a traditional omlette…they all usually end up some big eggy mess in the pan, which is why I forgo the formalities and just stick with my fancy scrambles. Which is how I came up with this one.

Put a saute pan over medium high heat, and let it get nice and hot.

We start, as always, with onion. Or half an onion, as it were.

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Quarter it and slice thinly. Set aside.

Now grab some frozen thin sliced sirloin. You can use Steak-Umms or whatever you have, I prefer these, because they look like actual meat.

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I used four slices. Pile them on top of each other and julienne.

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Apologies for the small-ness of the pictures. I’m an html loser.

Cut off a hank of butter (Yes, a hank. That’s more than 1TB, but less than 2.)

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And let it melt in the pan.

Add the onions and a little salt and pepper and cook until translucent.

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Add the sliced steak, and continue cooking until browned.

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While the steak and eggs are cooking, mix your eggs.

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Two or three eggs, a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and a splash of milk or cream or whatever you use in your coffee (except, of course, if you use those girly flavored creamers, because that would be. Gross.). I use fat free half and half, because it seems to lend more of a creaminess to the eggs than my organic 1% milk does, and it whips up nicer, too.

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Whisk together until light and fluffy.

The steak and eggs should be cooked thoroughly by now.

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And should smell divine.

Add the egg mixture to the pan and cook, stirring (scrambling) constantly.

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I always use a rubber spatula (or spoonula) when cooking in my saute pan, so I don’t scratch it. You should, too.

Keep cooking until the eggs become more solid than runny but not cooked all the way through.

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Because we still haven’t added the cheese yet.

If you’ve ever been to Philadelphia, or you’ve seen anything on TV about Philadelphia cheese steaks, you know they don’t use real cheese at all. In some circles, it’s not considered a Philly cheese steak if it doesn’t have Cheez-Whiz. Which is why, for this recipe and this recipe only, I use those cellophane-wrapped processed Yellow American cheese slices.

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Because I keep it real like that. Philly represent, son!

Tear up 1-2 slices of cheese (depending on how cheesy you like it. I used two, because I am cheesy. For sheezy.) and add them to the egg mixture.

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Continue mixing until cheese is melted and the egg is cooked through (In my case, ‘cooked through’ means lightly browned, but however you like yours done.)

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Serve with a side of hashbrowns and coffee. Order up!

Hey Ma!

And, no, you can’t ‘has’.

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