If this post doesn’t gross you out, we could totally hang.

On Monday I woke up with a scratchy throat and some post-nasal drip. I immediately went into denial mode and decided to (not so smartly) ignore my symptoms. Thinking it was just an allergy attack, I took a Zyrtec at work and hoped that they would simply go away. I went through work all day sniffling here and there and blowing my nose inappropriately in front of patients (mad public relations skills, I has them). I got home and started to get ready to go out. Some old friends from high school and I had planned on going to dinner then hitting Musikfest in Bethlehem (I’ll talk about the ‘fest another day, promise; it deserves its own entry.), and by the time I got home, I was just. Not. Having it. I did the shitty friend thing and called about an hour before our scheduled meeting time, apologized profusely to my friend K and promised to make it up to her. I ordered some pork with broccoli and chicken rice soup from China Fun, took some Benadryl and collapsed on the couch to watch whatever I’d collected on the DVR last week.

And then I didn’t move for 24 hours.

I’m not normally one to call out of work, but when you barely sleep through the night due to coughing and hacking and expelling phlegm through your nostrils (oh hush, like you don’t do it too), the prospect of things like taking a shower and going to work leads to moaning and grumbling and saying ‘Fuck it, I’m calling out’. So I did. Tuesday I laid on the couch, watched endless hours of Food Network and read some pretty bad yet ridiculously addictive Young Adult fiction. I barely touched any food, drank Pink Lemonade flavor Kool-Aid (Oh, YEAH!), and did not shower. I’m grateful I couldn’t smell myself, because. Whew. I took some NyQuil and slept on the couch for the second night in a row, which is a necessity for me when I’m sick.

This morning I woke up saying DO NOT WANT and “mphrmpfFUCKTHISSHITALRIGHTI’LLGO”, got around and (grudgingly) went to work. At work I self-medicated with some Sudafed and Mucinex (drink a whole glass of water with that, or else it won’t work), and started feeling better by lunch time. I know this because I started to eat anything that wasn’t nailed down. That whole feed a cold thing, you know.

So now I’m snuggled on the couch with a bowl of chicken soup and Mad Men on DVD, hoping I’m deloused by the weekend, or there will be hell to pay. I’ve got ‘Festing to do!

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