He’s Not Cooking for Me, Ever.

Me, to Wilson: “Look at this!”

Wilson: “Homemade Pop Tarts? mmmm. What’s in them? Gummy Bears?”
Me:”Ha ha, no, looks like cinnamon and brown sugar, and ooh – Nutella! mmm, Nutella.”
Wilson: “What is Nutella? I hear a lot about it, but never tried it.”
Me: “Oh my word, it’s this spreadable chocolate with hazlenut flavor – the first time I ever had it, I swear I had an orgasm right in the kitchen. Have you ever had a Rocher?”
Wilson: “The candy? No.”
Me: “Oh, well it’s like a wafer with a hazelnut and Nutella inside. It’s delicious.”
Wilson: “So, what, you just put it on stuff?”
Me: “Yeah, or in pastry. You should get it for Julie, she’d probably hump your face she’d love it so much. I’ve seen people make Nutella sandwiches. But, mostly you spread it on stuff…”
Wilson: “Like steak?”
Me: …