Too far inside my head.

I know I’ve covered this before, and I apologize for sounding like a broken record. It’s hard for me to know what to write here. I think social media is ruining me. A few years ago, I used to write almost every day. It wasn’t an “official” blog, more of an online journal that I shared with a few friends, and I wasn’t exactly Emily Dickinson — I would ramble and not always tell the best stories, and would occasionally forget where I was going with things, but damn it I was writing. Then MySpace came along, and my thoughts and ramblings gave way to wall posts and group messages. I joined Twitter and facebook and my more coherent, drawn-out ideas ended up as 140-character outbursts and status updates. I was writing less and less, just when I wanted to try to be an “actual” blogger.

I think — I know — I got intimidated. I started reading more and more blogs by writers that were light years ahead of me, talent-wise, and I thought “Who the hell am I to try to attempt this?”. I trudged on in my own way, but with my increased use of social media it fell by the wayside. Compound this with my innate shyness, my want to keep private things private, and my fear of sounding like a jackass to total strangers on the internet and voila, there’s why I’m not writing.

Also the whole “Two jobs and a house to take care of” thing, oh and the fact that I have no dating or married/family life to speak of. Shit has to happen to someone before they can write about it, no?

It’s incredibly narcissistic of me to think why on earth anyone would care about why I am or am not writing, and I suppose I should just first and foremost write for *me* and not worry about anything else. I would do that, but there are things I am just not ready to put out there at all. It’s up to me to find a happy medium, I guess. Stick with the things that are simple and fun and easy first and dig deeper later on.

In closing, I’m working on it. And there are things I want to say, I’m just struggling with the notion of sharing everything with…everyone.

I’ll get there. Maybe. Until then, there will be cupcakes!